Prepare the noodles: Bring water to a boil and cook egg noodles until just al dente. Drain, rinse under cold water, and let them sit to remove excess starch.
Mix the sauce: In a bowl, whisk together dark soy sauce, vegetarian oyster sauce, brown sugar, rice vinegar, sriracha, white pepper, garlic, and sesame oil.
Stir fry the vegetables: Heat oil in a large wok over high heat. Add garlic and cook until fragrant. Stir in onion, carrot, and bell pepper, cooking until slightly softened. Add the shredded cabbage and cook until crisp-tender.
Combine noodles and sauce: Add the drained noodles to the wok. Pour in the sauce and toss vigorously so every strand is coated. Let the sauce reduce slightly to cling to the noodles.
Finish: Mix in chopped green onions, taste, and adjust seasoning. Add an extra drizzle of sesame oil before serving if desired.
Notes
Store in the fridge up to 4 days; reheat in a skillet with a splash of water.Add extra veggies like bok choy, mushrooms, or bean sprouts if you like.Use gluten-free noodles and tamari for a GF version.Freezing is possible but texture changes; best enjoyed fresh or within a few days.